J.T.'s Ladies Read online

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  Great Western Fiction!

  Until the coming of J.T. Edson, action-escapism adventure stories were dominated by male heroes. Heroines were expected to be beautiful and virtuous – but also meek, mild, and dependent upon the hero when danger threatened.

  J.T. changed all that.

  His heroines are beautiful and virtuous, but when danger threatens they depend on themselves … Calamity Jane, Belle ‘The Rebel Spy’ Boyd, Betty Hardin, Dawn Drummond-Clayton, Woman Deputy Alice Fayde, and Amanda Tweedle, the baby-faced Blonde Genius, all demonstrate that ladies too have their place in action-packed adventure stories.

  And here they are, all in one volume …

  J.T.’s LADIES

  J.T.’S LADIES

  By J. T. Edson

  Copyright © J. T. Edson 1980, 2022

  This electronic edition published June 2022

  Names, characters and incidents in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

  You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by means (electronic, digital, optical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

  Editor: Mike Stotter

  This is a Piccadilly Publishing Book

  Text © Piccadilly Publishing

  Visit www.piccadillypublishing.org to read more about our books

  Published by Arrangement with the Author’s Agent.

  For Glenys Gibbon, Leslie North and Margaret White,

  the three most important ladies in the author’s life

  at his ‘spiritual’ home,

  the White Lion Hotel, Melton Mowbray.

  Table of Contents

  Publisher’s Note:

  Author’s Note

  Introduction

  Part One – Amanda ‘The School Swot’ Tweedle

  Fifteen, The Hard Way

  Part Two – Dawn Drummond-Clayton

  Death to Simba Nyeuse

  Part Three – Woman Deputy Alice Fayde

  A Contract for Alice Fayde

  Part Four – Betty Hardin

  It’s Our Turn To Improvise, Miss Blaze

  Part Five – Belle ‘The Rebel Spy’ Boyd

  The ‘Butcher’s’ Fiery End

  Part Six – Martha ‘Calamity Jane’ Canary

  Mrs. Wild Bill

  Appendix One

  Appendix Two

  Appendix Three

  Appendix Four

  Publisher’s Note:

  As with other books in this series, the author uses characters’ native dialect to bring that person to life. Whether they speak French, Irish, American English or English itself, he uses vernacular language to impart this.

  Therefore when Scottish characters use words such as “richt” instead of “right”; “laird” for “lord”; “oopstairs” for “upstairs”; “haim” for “home”; “ain” for “own”; “gude sores” for “good sirs” and “wha” for who” plus many other phrases, please bear in mind that these are not spelling, OCR mistakes.

  And in keeping with the Publisher’s house-style, we choose to use American English, which is more in keeping with the period stories.

  Author’s Note

  To save our ‘old hands’ from repetition, but for the benefit of all new readers, we have included in the form of APPENDICES details regarding the career and background of Woman Deputy Alice Fayde and Dawn Drummond-Clayton, also an explanation of various terms about which we have frequently received requests for clarification.

  We realize that, in our present ‘permissive’ society, we could use the actual profanities employed by various people in the narrative. However, we do not concede a spurious desire to create ‘realism’ is any excuse whatsoever for doing so.

  Introduction

  BEING AN AVID reader of the wonderful action-escapism-adventure fiction which had its vintage years from the mid-1930s to the late 1950s, I could not help noticing how small a part was allocated to what my generation could refer respectfully to as the ‘gentle sex’ without arousing screams of ‘male chauvinist pig’ from over-reacting supporters of Women’s Lib. In fact, with very few exceptions, 1 action-escapism-adventure fiction in books and movies tended to be a masculine domain. 2 Heroines were expected to be beautiful, shapely and virtuous—this being in the days before sexual promiscuity was turned into an apparently essential virtue—but meek, mild and dependent upon the hero for protection when danger threatened. So, on embarking upon my career as a writer, 3 I decided to try to remedy the situation.

  My heroines would be beautiful, shapely, even virtuous.

  However, they would not need to be dependent upon anybody, except themselves, when in a perilous situation!

  Martha ‘Calamity Jane’ Canary was the first of my ‘Ladies’ to take a ‘starring’ role and, so far, is the only one to have attained the status of a series of her own. 4 However, the lady outlaw, Belle Starr, 5 had preceded her into print by making a ‘guest’ appearance in my second published work, Part Four, Mark Counter In ‘A Lady Known As Belle’, THE HARD RIDERS. She had also made another guest appearance in Case One, ‘The Set-Up’, SAGEBRUSH SLEUTH and paved the way for Calamity to appear by there being a reference to a scar on her hand which was acquired when they had fought with one another on their first meeting.

  As my editor and secretary can tell you, writers do not function in the same way as normal human beings. Or, at least, I don’t. This is proved by the fact that Calamity’s first appearance in print, which took place in Part One, ‘Better Than Calamity’, THE WILDCATS, came before the episode in which her first meeting with Belle Starr and Mark Counter was published in Part One, ‘The Bounty On Belle Starr’s Scalp’, TROUBLED RANGE. So, as both books are in the Floating Outfit series and ‘star’ Mark Counter, we have the somewhat peculiar state of affairs wherein Calamity had already had her first printed meeting with him before she had met him chronologically.

  I have already described how Calamity developed the status of having her own series in the Introduction to her section of J.T.’s HUNDREDTH. I also explained in the same volume how I brought Belle ‘the Rebel Spy’ Boyd’s adventures into print. 6 Although Belle has not yet attained her own series, she has played a major role in several volumes. In fact, she was the ‘star’ in her own right in TO ARMS! TO ARMS! IN DIXIE! and THE REMITTANCE KID, with the respective heroes supporting her. However, these titles are listed for convenience in the Floating Outfit and Calamity Jane series.

  In spite of having been mentioned several times since the first of my books, TRAIL BOSS, appeared in 1961, Betty Hardin did not come on the scene in person until 1963. Her appearance is another example of how the mind of this particular writer functions. Although Betty is married to Johnny Raybold in GUNSMOKE THUNDER, 7 her original meeting with him was not described until THE RIO HONDO WAR was published in 1964. Nor were her talents at ju-jitsu and karate, learned from Tommy Okasi, 8 the Japanese ‘valet’ of her ‘grandfather’, General Jackson Baines ‘Ole Devil’ Hardin ,9 exploited to any great extent until THE BAD BUNCH in 1968. What is more, considering her status as a leading member of the Hardin, Fog and Blaze clan, I confess that I have neglected her somewhat. Her section in this volume will, I hope, make amends for my having been so remiss in the past.

  Woman Deputy Alice Fayde fared far better than Betty Hardin. Except for in THE SIXTEEN DOLLAR SHOOTER and THE SHERIFF OF ROCKABYE COUNTY, numbers one and two in chronologi
cal sequence, although both were written after the other titles in the series, Alice has had full ‘staring’ status ever since THE PROFESSIONAL KILLERS ushered her, her partner Deputy Sheriff Bradford Counter and the other members of the Rockabye County Sheriffs’ Office on to the printed page in 1968. 10 While she and Brad are not yet partners at the period of the incident, she plays an active role in the Rockabye County series’ section, ‘Preventive Law Enforcement’, J.T.’s HUNDREDTH. She is, in fact, the senior partner in their investigation team and is involved in a greater share of the action than any other female peace officer with whom I have come into contact via books, movies, or television series.

  Hollywood in particular seems to have a mental block where the employment of their lady detectives in physical action is concerned. To me, this reached its highest point in one episode of POLICEWOMAN. Having been pushed and locked in a closet by a professional killer, who then set fire to the room, ‘Sergeant Pepper Anderson’ (Angie Dickinson) the policewoman of the title, did nothing more constructive than bang on the door and shout for the man to let her out. As Alice demonstrated in the past and will continue to do, she is fully capable of protecting herself and would have taken much more positive action for her salvation if she had been in Sergeant Anderson’s position.

  I have covered the background of the creation of the Bunduki series in my Introduction to its section in J.T.’s HUNDREDTH and there is no point in repeating it verbatim. 11 However, although I regard Edgar Rice Burroughs as the greatest action-escapism-adventure writer of all time, I must confess I feel he never exploited his heroines to their full potential. This is especially true of Tarzan of the Apes’ wife, Jane. Except in TARZAN’S QUEST, when she made a bow and arrows with which to hunt for food after she and several friends were stranded by a plane crash in the jungle, she rarely demonstrated whatever survival techniques she had learned from her husband.

  On being granted permission by Edgar Rice Burroughs Inc. to introduce Dawn Drummond-Clayton 12 and James Allenvale ‘Bunduki’ Gunn, adoptive great-granddaughter and adopted son of Tarzan of the Apes, I followed my usual habit of allowing the former to be as self-reliant as any of my other Ladies. I considered that, with her background—based upon Philip Jose Farmer’s magnificent TARZAN ALIVE, A Definitive Biography Of Lord Greystoke and the family tree he supplies therein—Dawn would be able to cope without needing to scream for help the moment any danger threatened; although, particularly in every ‘Tarzan’ movie I have seen, this appeared to be all Jane was capable of doing. 13

  Amanda ‘the School Swot’ Tweedle came into being after I saw BLUE MURDER AT ST TRINIANS. In this film, the well-endowed actress Sabrina was shown sitting in bed and reading a very thick book despite various distractions going on about her, being referred to as ‘the school swot’. That was all she was required to do, but I could see how she could be put to far greater use. On writing to the production company and outlining my idea, I was informed that no more St Trinians movies would be made. Two more have been, but my plot was never used. Nor, considering the format adopted by the producers, would I have wanted it to be.

  However, I never forget a good idea for a story.

  A few years later, when my name as a successful writer of ‘Westerns’ was established, hearing various people connected with the British film making business complaining they could not obtain suitable plots for family movies, I unearthed my basic plot and, in collaboration with Peter Clawson, turned out a screen play. To avoid this being a waste of time, as my agent had informed me that—despite the claims we had heard—selling it to the British film producers would be exceedingly difficult if not impossible, I also worked upon the manuscript of what became BLONDE GENIUS. I had altered the basic idea a little and Amanda also was subjected to a change. She was still to be the beautiful, curvaceous kind of ‘Mr. Belvedere’ character as portrayed by the actor, Clifton Webb, in the movies, SITTING PRETTY, MR. BELVEDERE GOES TO COLLEGE and MR. BELVEDERE RINGS THE BELL, apparently knowing and being able to do practically everything exceptionally well. However, Sabrina had been supplanted as the model for Amanda by the delectable and, I considered, far more suitable Aimi Macdonald.

  BLONDE GENIUS was one of the few books I have written to receive the attention of a literary critic. L. F. Lampitt commented most favorably on it in the EVENING NEWS, suggesting it would make a suitable movie for the family market. 14 So I hoped this might induce somebody to turn it into a film, but the hope did not materialize. Apparently one has to have a certain social and political background, which I am pleased to say I lack, before one’s work is regarded as acceptable by the British film industry. Although disappointed at the time, I am now pleased it was refused as I doubt whether the story would have been adhered to. I would have refused to allow it to be changed to contain the kind of one-sided iconoclastic socio-political diatribe, filled with specious irony and glorifying promiscuity, infidelity, or sexual deviation, which forms the content of most entertainment put out by British film and television production companies. While these are always filled with a ‘message’, or ‘social significance’, they rarely offer a single character in whom the audience can take any interest as a person, or feel any concern over what happens to him or her.

  While Amanda has previously only appeared in one volume, I have an idea for a second and, as I mentioned elsewhere, I never forget a plot. However, as I explained in the Introduction to Waco’s section of J.T.’s HUNDREDTH, my experiences with the DOG LEROY, MD. syndrome have taught me never to refer to a proposed book by its title until work upon the manuscript has at least been commenced.

  Anyway, enough of the explanation.

  Let’s meet J.T.’s LADIES.

  Part One – Amanda ‘The School Swot’ Tweedle

  Fifteen, The Hard Way

  ‘IT’S GOOD OF you to see us, Amelia,’ Maxwell Spender declared, taking the seat he had been offered at the well-polished, magnificent antique, yet still functional, desk and hoping the companion he had been compelled to bring would remember the warning he had given with respect to refraining from inserting profanities into every sentence.

  Tall, burly, distinguished looking, with dark hair turning grey at the temples, the man who was known to Scotland Yard as the current ‘managing director’ of the South London and Southern England Grime Consortium, was dressed excellently and in perfect taste. He had the carriage and bearing indicative of military training such as was acquired only in the days when the British Army was still a force to be reckoned with throughout the world. However, his demeanor at that moment was redolent of frustrated annoyance. Yet, while he could—and, on occasion, did—express himself with all the breadth of forceful profanity of the drill sergeant in the Brigade of Guards which he had been, that background—untainted by the ‘liberalism’ of the so-called ‘permissive society’—had also instilled an appreciation of when and where such language was or was not permissible, no matter how justifiable the circumstances were.

  The room of the magnificent Georgian mansion to which Spender had fetched his companion definitely came into his category of being a place where even the mildest profanity was out of the question. Particularly when they were in the presence of the revered headmistress of Benkinsop’s Academy For The Daughters Of Gentlefolk and one of her pupils.

  Decorated and furnished to the height of refinement, so as to express luxury and utility, but devoid of ostentation, the room contrived in a subtle way to combine the atmosphere of all its functions. It was, as the situation warranted, sitting-room, study, or business office. On the walls hung portraits, each by the most celebrated artist of the day, of Miss Amelia Penelope Diana Benkinsop’s predecessors as owners of the mansion. From the Regency, through Victorian, Edwardian and World War I to the present incumbent, whose likeness was included, there was a strong family resemblance which was understandable. Every one bore the same name and they were all her ancestors 15. Each was illustrated wearing the height of her period’s fashion and all, even the o
ne posed against the background of what— to a connoisseur of such matters —as clearly a hunting camp in the range country of the United States of America during the mid-1870s, 16 had on a splendid diamond, sapphire and emerald necklace.

  ‘It is always a pleasure to receive you, Max,’ replied the woman to whom the gratitude had been directed. ‘I know your business is urgent, but can I offer you tea?’

  While the particular piece of jewelry common to all the portraits had been recovered, along with the rest of Miss Benkinsop’s property which was stolen at the misguided instigation of a now defunct leading member of the Mediterranean Syndicate, 17 she was not wearing it at that moment. Her appearance lost nothing because of its omission, for it would not have gone with her attire.

  Neither too tall nor too short in height, the headmistress had golden blonde hair treated with the kind of ultra-elegance which a very prominent coiffeur in London’s West End specialized in creating. It set off her flawless beauty and emphasized the regal distinction of her patrician features perfectly. She was dressed, as was always the case when attending to the School’s affairs—even if it was granting an interview to a perturbed parent seeking advice on a matter not directly concerning the welfare of any of his three daughters who were her pupils—in the appropriate fashion. The white silk blouse, as crisp as when it was donned that morning, Harris tweed two-piece costume, silk stockings and walking shoes had come from the best establishments in Bond Street specializing in such wares. The garments neither sought to detract from, nor draw attention to, her extremely curvaceous figure. Her age was indeterminate, but she was certainly somewhat older than appearances suggested. 18

  ‘We’d be pleased to have some,’ Spender assented, darting a scowl as the man sitting at his side moved restlessly and displayed other signs of impatience.